5 Skills for a Successful Relationship

successful relationship

It is not easy to maintain a strong romantic relationship over a long period of time. That’s why dating relationships come apart, engagements are cancelled, and marriages often come to a stalemate or may end. And we all know that there are many reasons that relationships can fall apart.

In contrast, we found a just few reasons why certain relationships are successful over the long term. We recommend starting with five key skills  to make a relationship much stronger and less likely to give in to onflict. The difficult part is that BOTH parties must use all five of the following skills! If you can master them together, you have a much more likely shot that your relationship will continue for many, many years.

Successful Relationship Skill #1  — Hear  When You Listen

The statement is often made that “it’s important to listen.” Well, listening is only the first step, since someone can listen and not understand or care about what was said. When a husband is listening to his wife (or vice versa), he must strive to truly hear what she’s trying to say – to understand and to care. When in doubt, ask questions.  This not only shows that you are actively listening but also helps to make sure you fully understand your partner’s perspective.

Successful Relationship Skill #2 — Fight Fairly

Since fights —  disagreements and arguments and tensions of all kinds —  are an inevitable a part of any relationship, it’s important that the parties follow rules (like the rules regulating boxing matches) that prevent injury to either person or death to the relationship. The “fight fairly” rules would probably include eschewing insults to in-laws, abstaining from malicious statements, resisting the temptation to be petty, and avoiding too many slammed doors!  Remember, once you say it, you can’t take it back.

Successful Relationship Skill #3 — Learn to Forgive

Just as fights are inevitable in a relationship, so are small hurtful actions. When two people have so many points of contact throughout a week, it’s natural that occasionally unkind words will be heard or mistakes may be make like throwing away a pair of old jeans that had a hole in it (but was dearly loved by your partner). That being the case, it’s important to learn to forget those slights. Not every unfortunate action should be stored in memory and retained for future ammunition.  This may not be that simple but try to look at the bigger picture and learn to let it go.

Successful Relationship Skill #4 — Give Good Gifts

Now this skill may sound like advice coming from a woman who loves her baubles, but it is really so much more than that.  If a relationship is to survive, the partners must become experts at showing how they feel.  This can come to life through small gestures like taking out the garbage or buying flowers on a random Tuesday, but real planning and presenting meaningful gifts to one another can be priceless. To give something to another person is to celebrate that person, their uniqueness and best qualities. In a romance, gift-giving is hugely important, because it is a way of repeating over and over that the other person is loved and precious.  These well planned gifts don’t need to be extravagant, just thoughtful.  For instance, if your husband eats cereal for breakfast most days, buy him a waffle maker and try to make Sunday morning waffles for the both of you to share.  Or on her first Mother’s day, buy your wife a simple necklace with three charms.  One for each of your initials.  A little thought goes a long way!

Successful Relationship Skill #5 — Remember What is Important

Just as it’s necessary to forget certain things (see Tip #3), it is also necessary to remember particular things. It’s necessary to remember why and how the relationship began (each couple has their own story). It’s necessary to remember certain important things that were said – professions of love, commitments to faithfulness. And it’s necessary for each person to remember clearly the particular beauty that he/she sees and treasures in the other person.  There was a strong emotional connection when you met.  Trying to recapture that can help bring what is important back to the heart of the relationship.

If the two partners in a romantic relationship possess and practice each of these skills, the prognosis for the relationship is positive. And a good romance is worth all the effort and devotion that two people can contribute.

 

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