Simi in the City: Welcome to Bio-Data 101

BioData101
“Do you realize how old you are, Simi?”

Here we go again.

“Mid-twenties,” I reply. Indra Auntie fixes her eyeballs on me. “Well, technically I won’t be thirty till next month.”

Auntie clucks and directs her attention back to the computer where my bio-data awaits her eager match-making fingers.

Bio-Data. The two most dreadful words any unmarried Indian girl wants to hear. And if you’re filling out a bio-data profile (or your Aunt comes to your apartment to complete one for you), the implication is you’re on the fast track to spinsterhood unless an intervention with parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and ancestors can save you.

Indra Auntie savors the “intelligence” question. She keys in my GPA and scholastic career going back to kindergarten. Of course, she doesn’t leave out my acceptance to med-school while I was still in the 12th grade. Sanjay Gupta is like Jim Morrison in our community. But I didn’t want to be a Doctor or a Rock Star. Against the well-wishes of the entire Desi community I chose marketing. I’m now an ad exec at Dodecca9 and love what I do.

Next up on the all-important questionnaire is “attractiveness.” “You have a nice face, Simi. Your complexion is good and your hips are excellent for having many children…”

“But she’s too tall,” my mother hollers from the kitchen. Auntie nods. Punches in these details.

Yes, at 5’10” I hover over most Indian men like the Statue of Liberty, but the model dimensions did help me cut the line at PiNK the other night.”

While Auntie types other intimate details even I didn’t know about myself, “very artistic,” “desires a large family”,”will happily cook and clean…,” I sneak away to the bathroom and run the hot water… I decide to take a moment for myself and let the Jasmine scented bubble bath take me away…

Xoxo, Simi

You may also like --

2 Comments

  1. 5’10?? B.S.

    • Lakshmi Reddy says:

      You’d be surprised 🙂 and although it is great as an adult, it was not too fun growing up that tall.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*